When you reach this age

When you reach this age, you think you've got everything in control. You've grown mature enough to battle the world, so there you go engaging in a head-on collision with the way people once lived their lives in accordance with the norms of the society. The good news is you're a challenger. The bad news is you're fighting against the people close to your heart, your family.

When you reach this age, you think there are no boundaries. So, you move, move and move until you hit an invisible wall.

When you reach this age, you think you can decide for yourself, without taking others' opinion into consideration. 'Why would they matter?' you say to yourself. 'Through the years, I've learned to decide on my own, solved my own problems without asking for help from my family, found my way out of difficult situations I put myself into.' Through all of those, you think you're worthy enough to stand on your feet without others' guidance. Apparently not. Or at least they think.

When you reach this age, you think you're free to do whatever you want because it's your life anyway. For the past years, your parents performed the responsibility of reminding you that you have to be good. That's all they could do, remind you. You never saw the kind of parents you envied your friends about. And so you chose to have it your own way. You said to yourself, 'Why would I follow their rules? They were never proven effective as evidenced by where they are right now. Somewhere nobody ever wants to land onto. Somewhere only an insane person dreams to be.' Now, here they come ranting about you being different from whoever they want their child to be. They see you as good-gone-bad. But they don't see what's inside you because they never try to look into it. They don't see that inside, you're hurting.

When you reach this age, you're afraid to make decisions. You arrive at a fork and you know exactly what to do. Choose. Now, you find it hard to decide because you know that whichever you choose comes with a consequence. But the only choice that you have screaming at your face is...CHOOSE.

When you reach this age, you're euphoric. You think you can have it all. You think you can grab all the blessings that come showering down on you. So, you try to take hold of them all. You juggle them. Then everything gets messed up. You think you are advancing only to find out that you're just revolving around a circle of the same things.

When you reach this age, only you can understand what you're going through. Not your friends, not your co-workers, not even your parents who have caused you pain as well. Or at least you think.

When you reach this age, you realize that you can go on by unloading some of what you try very hard to carry on your back.

When you reach this age, you realize that you're not giving up what you unload. You simply put them on the waiting list because you're quite sure you'll return to them right away when you're done with your business ahead. You don''t know when exactly, but you're sure you'll return because you promise you will. Whatever happens.

When you reach this age, you hope that everything will be all right. You pray that everything will fall in its proper place. And you expect that you will be fine.

I am 21 and will be fine.